holy shit this got so many notes so fast
I’ve been thinking…..
Dangerous, i know. My mind is a tornado full of useless information and unanswered questions and its only getting more out of control as I add more content. Even as I type this, I’m struggling to decide on what I even want to post in this. Allow me to give you a glimpse of whats going on in here…..
I have my first deployment thats coming up in noveber/december, which, for obvious reasons, brings up a laundry list of questions/issues. Whats it going to be like? How will i stay busy for 9 months? I’m going to be a doorgunner, so will I get enough training before I go? Will i have a lady back home for support? What if she cheats? What if someone I know, by some horrible misfortune, dies? how would I respond? What if I somehow dont make it back? How will things be different when i get back?
That’s only the beginning. In addition to that, I have my family, who in all honesty, I should spend more time with. A mojave desert worthy sexual dry spell. A dirty car. Why is Katniss so stupid to not choose Peeta? he’s the shit. I need a new book to read. I still want to bull-ride this summer. Kaleb and Thad died this day, 2 years ago. They were literally 2 of my oldest friends that I was still in contact with. I need to understand my helicopter better. I want to hook up wi-fi in my room, but im technologically retarded. Why do I have an xbox and a million games if i never play them? I suck at gold, yet I continue to attempt it. Weekend drinking. Sunday headache.
This is just a sample, but obviously this deployment is weighing on me more than anything else. Its not fear, its just unknown. Im not nervous, just jittery. Does that even make sense? Whatever. I only know like 4 people who actually follow me, so you guys can figure that out for yourself since I am obviously confused enough as it is.
